Time passed quickly
and I was getting prepared to enter the harsh world of corporate jargons. I was
nervous from people saying their experiences in interviews. I was good but not
the best and I realized that to be best I have to bury all my past and focus on
the things which I intend to do or things which I were waiting for me. But this
was not so easy. Now writing this post, I can speak hundreds words of “dos” and
“don'ts” but that time, it was not so easy to busy everything.
Luck favored me in
this and I got my first professional break as an internship, with an US based
software company. But it needed a lot of confidence to sit in front of 4
interviewers and answer their question. One girl helped me to ease my pain. It
happened before my graduation completed. I was totally distorted with what had
happened and lost focus on almost everything. I used to blindly spend time on
internet without knowing what to do. I used to spend hours in chat rooms
chatting and flirting. My personality changed and I didn't like it.
Then one day while
chatting, I met with a girl who was alone in the room. Although there were lot
of people interested in talking with her but she was not responding to any of
the requests. I found this a little strange as she was in a public room. I gave
her a private message, asking if she wants to talk with me. I was least
expecting a reply from her, as she was not replying to anyone in the room, but
probably that was my luckiest day. She agreed and we moved to a separate room.
Since it was the first
day, we did only high level talks. We talked about our profiles. Although, this
kind of talk is practically not logical in these mediums, but we had to start
somewhere. We almost continued to chat everyday on the time we decided to meet.
Anyone who would come early would create a separate room for the other person
to join. Sometimes, I used to get confused with the names, she used to use.
Then one day, I asked her, her actual name because some where I knew that she
was using false names. Till that time, we had become very good friends and
probably I was sure that this is the right time to ask her about her name.
She took a day to
reply back to me, as it was normal. She might not trust someone whom she has
not met nor spoke with, till now and the time spent was not so much to trust
someone to give her details. But our relationship was more of trust than
anything else and this came automatically in us. We knew that the other person
will not misuse the information in any sense. She told her actual name and surprisingly
her name was same of the girl in my class.
I told her to use her
real name in the chat as I use to do. Without any further delay she changed her
login name to her real name. Time passed like this and I started feeling good
while speaking with her. Her company would make me forget my pains and live a
good life. I felt an attraction, although we did not meet. I started putting her
to the place which was vacant from a long time and felt good in thinking that
probably god has made her for me.
But how to ask her or
propose her? I didn't want to lose the precious friendship which has grown
between us in this time. On calendars it was 3 months past. I thought, I have
to anyhow tell her what I felt for her. The least can happen was rejection, so
I prepared myself mentally and thought that I would propose her tonight. She
came in the night the same time and after a little chat. I told her that I want
to express my feeling to her. She didn’t thought much and allowed me to speak.
I told her that, I feel good when I am talking to her and probably I think I
started loving her. She was silent for the entire time and suddenly went out of
the room.
I tried to convince her saying that this is something I felt and do not hold any obligation on you.
I am good with your friendship and afraid to loose that. She asked me from when
I was thinking about this, I told her that its being a month I am getting that
feeling inside me. She told me that she will answer my proposal in a day’s
time. I thought that’s it !!!! all gone. I couldn't sleep that night thinking
on my foolishness, I had least to expect.
Next day she came and
told me that she wanted to test my authentication. She told me that you do
something, which will define the level of trust and authenticity that I should
be able to put in you. She waited as I was thinking, what I can do? Then
without any second thought, I gave my personal mails id and password to her. I
told her, this is open my personal account and you can see my trust on you. She
was surprised seeing this as no one would give their credentials like this.
She opened the
account and without reading anything logged out. But some where she was convenienced that I am not the type of other guys who would cheat someone like
this. Then the next day she came with her reply. She paused and gave me her
acceptance. Heaven broke on my head and I was on cloud 7. I was more than happy
hearing this that at least I didn’t got what I expected. She logged out
instantly.
Then the chat went
into personal mode and we used to discuss everything on this earth. That was
the time when she asked for my phone number. I gave her without thinking a lot.
I still remember the confusion happened when she called me and my mom received
the call. Most of the people confuse between my and my father’s names. Although
they are entirely different in writing, but in pronunciation they have a
similarity. She also fell into the same problem. She called me and my mother
received the call, she asked for me but said my father’s name. My mom thought that
the call is for my dad and she told her that her husband is out for some work.
Listening this, she
broke into tears and disconnected the call. I came to know later that she was
with her friend and she was thinking that I broke her trust. To teach me a
lesson, her friend called me again and luckily this time I picked up the phone.
She started firing me and I was not even aware of the situation. I told her to
cool down and tell me the problem. I was getting a little nervous because I could
hear her voice, she was crying continuously. Her friend told me that, I cheated
her by saying that I am not married and she just spoke to your wife. I
wanted to laugh at it but looking to the seriousness of the situation, I controlled
myself.
I asked her, what
name did you tell her? She said the name. I said, it is a shame that your
friend do not even pronounce my name correctly and expects a proper reply. The
name you told just now is of my father’s name and to whom your friend spoke was
my mother. I added to the heat by saying that, now my mom is suspicious as to
what is happening. The time I stopped this, her friend broke a laugh and she
was scolding her from behind. She dropped the receiver by laughing and didn't speak
a word.
Then after some time,
again I got the call and this time my mom, started asking me about the calls.
She was getting suspicious on the calls coming from a girl and that to long
distance. Sorry, one thing I didn't tell you guys that, she was not in Mumbai
as to she didn't live in Mumbai. The time we met she was in Delhi, studying her
masters and computers. So she was calling me from Delhi. So she called me back
and I explained her, the confusion just happened. Things were light and she
understood the confusion.
Although I would say
that was a test of our loyalty and trust in us that our relationship was able
to sustain the waves of confusion without even getting a little shake. Even
though, we were in a relationship which was the next level of friendship but
still we decided to remain as friends. We were comfortable in interacting with
ourselves as friends than as a couple. But that doesn't mean, we didn't have
romance in our relationship. We enjoyed all colors of this relationship and
with each experience; our bonding was more proper, more stable, more flexible
and more durable.
Within all these
happening, my graduation and NIIT training completed and I got an internship in
a software company as a programmer. I never liked programming and kept that as
the last sought career position. But my luck started counting the lost from
down and I got a job as a programmer. First job in life, first salary
everything first, wonderful feeling. Weeks passed like weeks and weeks like
years. We used to talk everyday on phone. We wanted to meet and see ourselves.
But how??
That was a time when
my granny came to Mumbai from Kolkata. I was very close to her. Although she
was much stricter than my mom but somewhere she made sense in everything she
did. I planned to tell her about this. I was scared because she comes from that
ole generation, where love was only after marriage. I told her to send her snap
to me. I still remember, she mailed me a marriage photograph which she
attended. That is how I saw her for the first time. She was damn beautiful and
pretty. She asked for my photo. Well.. I am not into much of clicking photos; I
would rather click someone else but not myself.
But luckily there was
a party in office and people clicked the party. Fortunately there were couple
of snaps, where I was there and that I mailed her those. Well… the point is how
to meet? In a good day, when everything was normal, I opened her pic in front
of my granny and asked her, how do you find her? This question was very
important because my granny loved beauty because she was damn beautiful. At the
age pass 70 she used to look at least 20 – 30 years younger, just because she
maintained it. Granny loved her, as she was also beautiful.
I made so many plans
to go and meet her but then it didn't work because of the work and by that time
another big thing happened. Both of our family got the telephone bills and it
was around 11000. On checking the bills, her family found a Mumbai number and
my family found a Delhi number. Then what…. Questions..Questions…Questions….
I still remember, I was
getting ready for office and suddenly my phone rang. It was a STD, I was sure
something has happened, as I hadn't expected her call so early. I answered the
call and found a male voice. He asked my name and I told him and then he asked whether
I knew his girl. I was not pre texted. So I agreed and also told him that we
met on chat. By this time, my family knew the entire situation. I told them and
also told them that whatever it takes, I will marry her or no one else.
I told my mom to call
that number back and tell them the entire story. I was not aware of her
situation. When the call was made, she was not in house and the call was
answered by her father. I was in office and was praying to god. What I came to
know that when my mom called and spoke with her dad, she entered home. Her dad,
asked her about me and she was blurred. She denied that, she didn’t know me. I
was very furious and I thought of putting a mail on it. But my mom told me to
calm down. I was very much angree as to why to put my mom in a fix.
I think also
understood, what she did and she told the entire thing to her parents. There
was no problem as I also come from a good family. Things sorted out and the
same night, her father called on my cell and apologized to me. I told him that
if I were in his position then I would have reacted the same way. Then everything
sorted out, I used to call her only on Sundays and talk with him and her mom. Her
mom used to ask me about the future of this relationship and I was very sure of
the future. But by the time this happened, my granny passed away.
I wanted her to stay
with me to see all these things, she also spoke with her one day in Hindi. I couldn't believe that. When she got the news, she cried endlessly, she was attracted to
her warmth. My granny will be always my favorite. But she wanted to my marriage
and so taking her last wishes, my parents agreed to visit.
But how to recognize
her? Looking someone in photo and in individual, are both different things. But
no one believes that we both were psychologically connected. I could sense the
color of her dress, by sitting in Mumbai. So recognizing someone was not a big
deal. That was a first time I met her in person, wonderful feeling indeed.
Sitting and talking, holding hands..Was simply great. Our marriage was decided
the next year in winter. Everything was going as per our expectation.
We invited them to
visit Mumbai and to see our place. They agreed and visited us, so that was the
final meeting we had in person and then in a year we got married to each other.
I always say by this our relationship climbs the next level but still we remain
what we were….Good friends. We had a only pact between ourselves that.. Whatever
happens our friendship will never break and maintaining this promise..We are
completing 10 years of commitment and loyal togetherness.
She had been always
besides me in good and bad times and I am grateful to her for that. Today by completing
10 years of marriage I have completed 12 years of professional commitment. She was
always a vital support for me to complete these years. I have no regrets in
saying, academically and practically, she is much more superior to me, but I love
it. Today I have a small world called “Family” where I, my wife and my daughter
live.
I feel apart from the
position I am working on, it was a dream 12 yrs back, when I was fighting for
survival. Today I help people to survive as I did. The journey from a 4 figure
salary to 6 figure salary was exciting, lot of lessons learnt and lot of experiences.
Before putting a full
stop to my short reflection of my life, I would like to say something to all of
you, It is not what you achieve but what matters is how you have achieved. Life
tests everyone but it also gives you a solution and love is a part of the
solution. Loving someone is not something which should be repented, when you don't get that person. Love does not understand revenges, egos … nothing. For love..
Even Black is beautiful, if you believe it is beautiful.
So people… Love unconditionally
and enjoy the colors of life…… thanks.
