Short Stories - Love

He pulled out the house keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. The door opened in a dark room full of shanti's pictures. But instead of switching on the light, he went inside and threw his bag on the broken sofa. He remembered Shanti always told him to change this sofa and he always but he never showed the interest in it. But he loved shanti in every sense.

The house once glowed with the presence of shanti, was now a barren piece of land starving for rain from ages. Ashok lost the pace of life after shanti left him 2 years back. he took out his shoes and just dropped his body on the sofa. He was thirsty and called shanti, " i am back, please give me some water" he waited for a reply, as usual but this time nothing came and no one came out also. This brought tears in his eyes. He never felt the need of shanti, so much. He woke up from the sofa and went straight to the table, which was partially visible from the near by light pole. He took a glass and poured some water for himself. He took the glass of water and went back to the sofa. He closed his eyes and let his mind go back to those years, when he met shanti.

Ashok was from a middle class family with not much expectations from life neither complaints from the life, being a small family of 4 members with 1 working member,they lived a happy life in a small city of big hopes. Ashok was a bright student and dreamt of becoming a doctor, all his academic realities inclined with his aspirations but with a financial hurdle. But he knew that, he will anyhow make this work to achieve his dreams. Because of his excellent he got scholarship and a study grant to get admitted in one of the most prominent medical college in the city.

Time flew and he was proving his mettle in his studies, when life gave him his first surprise of his life. He was completing his first year and there was a girl in his class, who didn't want to loose any single chance of looking at him. In few cases, their eyes met and then parted away. This went on for days, weeks and months and nothing was hidden from anyone, what is cooking between both of them. But the only problem is, none of them had that courage to speak with other. Time flew like this and the only change happened was they went to the next graduation year but nothing actually moved.

Fed up of all this, their friends decided to take up this on their own hands and so they thought of planning something to make them speak to each other. It was the night before the day of love and they took a card and invited the girl to their party. The card was written from Ashok's name, without letting them know, and it was handed over to the girl, through a common friend, "Priya". Priya had an easy access to their house. 

She rang the bell and a middle aged man open the door, "Namaste Uncle, Is Shanti there in house?" Shanti's father gracefully accepted her question, "jeete raho (keep living)and come in" and Priya went in. He called shanti "shanti, Priya is here. Don't spend the whole night chatting" and he walked back to his room. Quickly Priya took out the card from her bag and gave it to shanti. Shanti was clueless and asked "what is this?" confused, she opened the card and read the entire content in one breath. 

Priya could see the change in the colour and expressions on her face. she was thrilled, Excited but latter tensed. "What happened? aren't you happy? You wanted this from such a long time" She questioned shanti but shanti was in another world calculating the probabilities of worst case scenarios. After a long time, Priya shook shanti to break her silence. Shanti woke up as if she was dreaming and still she was in dreams. "Father...." she paused, a deep line of concern became visible on her forehead.

"Don't worry....Things will be sorted out" she assured her. "just be ready tomorrow" she said and left her house. Shanti was standing holding the card, excitement in her eyes and fear in her heart. She stood there for a long time until her father's call woke her up " Is Priya gone??" "Yes father sometime back and i am also going to sleep?" She answered "OK, check all the locks and switch off the lights" he ended. Darkness of the night was nothing in front of the glow in her eyes. She went to her room, locked the room, read the card once again kissed that and slept.

Love...love...love everywhere, no one in the college was interested to study. Attendance was record low and management was angry, but what to do, the time has gone when one can force kids to sit and study. the entire gang has planned really good on the name of Ashok and without knowing him. They knew, if he knew then he will never agree for this. the entire day went in calculating the speculations. Priya in a way, managed to bring Shanti to the party. Ashok was still unaware of the objective of this all arrangement, he was told that its a general get together meet to celebrate the love.

Ashok came late in the venue and found no one was there, he took a chair and sat down holding a book on his face and suddenly he felt some one sat in front of him. he slowly lowered down his book and was surprised to see Shanti in front of him. She was holding the card and a rose in her hands. A small smile was on her face with a sparkle in her eyes along with a glow on her face. Both sat across each other, with no words on their lips but eyes talking with each other.

Suddenly, Ashok, still spell bounded, said " You look beautiful..." and then there was a long silence, nothing more was spoken by both of them but probably things were understood by this. Silence spoke thousand words than any words. The cupid has played his part but now life has to test their compatibility on the time to come but now this was wonderful as we see an unexpected to turn to expected.

Time flew and both Shanti and Ashok enjoyed their best times of life. They got married after 2 years after completion of their graduation and together completed MD. Ashok completed his Masters in Neuro-Surgery and Shanti completed her masters in general medicine. Things were going good as they made a perfect balance between work and job, no complaints from life and relationship....all fine. They wanted to take their relationship to the next level to become parents.

As all knows, no one knows what time and life has stored for you and soon they have to face the hardest reality of life. Ashok was invited to speak in a conference in a near by city, which is about 2 hrs drive from his work place. Unfortunately this came on their anniversary date and both had planned to celebrate it together. The plan was that shanti would drive to him in the conference center and then they would celebrate their anniversary and go back.

The plan was right but probably the time was wrong, Ashok, as usually, left in the morning to attend the conference and left the car keys for shanti to drive to the venue. Everything was perfect, as seems, it was 4 PM, shanti, excited, winded up her meetings well in time, took the car keys and drove to meet ashok. She took the fastest route to the venue through the highway. Suprisingly, the sky was blank and rain drops dropping on the car. It was sudden, when the drops changed into a pour.

Shanti looked at her watch, it was still half an hour, for the conference to get over. He thought, why to waste time in stopping, when she can drive slowly and she can reach him before time and wait there. So she kept her car in a constant, the visibility dropped less than 1%, she switched on her parking lights and was moving on a steady pace. Suddenly her phone ranged, it was Ashok's call, his conference was over and was waiting for her. She thought twice to pick up the call but at the end emotions took over the thinking ability and she took up the call.

"Happy anniversary... my love.." a serious but romantic voice came from the other end. She recognised the voice, but thought to play a little. "Reply to this, will get in person..." she gave a naughty smile and pressed the accelerator. she could see a trailer carrying a bunch of iron pipes and banged the trailer. In this crash, 2 pillers went through her forehead and crashed the back glass. Phone was ringing with ashok's name flashing but she couldn't take that. Suddenly crowd started gathering around her car but no one was really coming ahead to help her. She was not dead and still to react to the reflexes.

Suddenly a hand came and opened the door. The door war locked as it was badly damaged, but after lot of pain, the door actually opened and the hands unlocked the seat belts but how to take the her out as the slabs were still in her head. The crowd called a iron cutter and he cut the larger portions of the slabs and kept a small section inside. The person took out shanti from the car and made her sit in the side of the road. He quickly called the emergency service of the nearby hospital and the hospital in turn gave a call to ashok, who was the only neuro surgeon in the town. 

She was able to relate what was happening, she was also able to hear her phone ringing but she couldn't take up the call, after trying multiple times, ashok left the venue and rushed to the hospital. he kept trying shanti's number but all in vein. He the moment he entered to the main gate of the hospital, he saw the ambulance entering the gates. He rushed to ambulance to have a look to the patient. the wardens were in the process of taking the patient out and as he reached near, he was shocked.

He saw 2 iron pillars, wet in rain water, was still in her head, the blood was clotted around the wound and her face was turning blue, as if some kind of poison was getting mixed in her blood. Without the any delay he told the wardens to go to the Operation theater, he ran to his strength, to the changing room, got changed and sanitized himself and ran to the OT.

"Thank god.. her heart was beating..." he assured himself by checking the nerves and the heart beat. He told his team to give anesthesia to her and started operating. It took more than 6 hrs of gruelling and finally it was over. He checked the vital statistics, all OK, kissed her forehead and went out. She was shifted to the ICU, where she will be kept for next 48 hrs. 

Ashok made sure that he was with her all day and night. It was 3 AM in the night, when the pain raised. Ashok ran to to her checked and found that her heart was sinking. He called the nurse, she came running with the antibiotics. He pressed the needles straight to her ribs and gave CPR to her. Situation went in control, Shanti opened her eyes and saw ashok near her.."Sorry ...." tears came out of her eyes, he came near and wiped her tears and told her to take rest.

She told the nurse to leave them alone, she took his hand on her hand, ashok, though understood, what was going to happen , was still waiting for any miracle to happen. she pulled him close to herself and whispered in his ears "Happy Marriage Anniversary...love you" She kissed and collapsed on the hands of ashok. All went silent, the constant beeping sounds of the monitors were so prominent in that room that is almost made him deaf. Ashok couldn't believe that, shanti is no more, his love is no more... his everything is lost, which cannot be brought back... He wanted to shout on this but refrained himself. He knew this, would happen, if not now then within a week's time.

He sat down looking to the innocent face of shanti, who had a smile on her lips and solace on her face. He smiled looking to her that now there will be no pain.. all pain gone... or given to him. He couldnt control the tears dropping from his eyes and started crying in pain... with a shock he came back to reality..the same dark room.. with a glass of water in his hand not drunk.

He took the nearby lying photograph of himself and shanti in happy times and just was about to cry, a sudden knock on the door..shook him from inside. He checked his watch .. it was past 9 PM. "who came at this time of night ? then he remembered that it was the time when shanti used to return from her hospital. He went to the door...bounced badly on the table and the glass dropped on the carpet. He opened the door, but found no one. He thought that some kids in the building might be playing with him, as he was about to close the door, he say an envelope sticked on the name plate just on Shanti's name. He took the envelope and checked every corner of it.

Nothing was written on it, he opened the same and found a letter and a key chain. He remembered that it was of the same car keys, which shanti took that day. He opened the letter and start reading that ...

"Don't insult love by repenting, why it happened..

Love brings people together... People don't..

So smile to the last breath you take..

So that you can start the journey with a smile....

Love is not question but it is an answer..

Love is not a puzzle but it is a picture..

Love is an emotion not an impulse..

love is a smile not a tear...

Since you smile, i also smile .. 

This is my house and i don't like it dark ..

Its not important, whether i am there or not ...

Love should remain as we brought in there...."

He folded the letter and kissed it.. and kept close to his heart. before entering the house, he switched on the light. Darkness was no where and an optimistic glow was all around..................................................................

A Life called "Marriage"

It took me 11 yrs to understand what marriage really means, it i san epitome of one's test of loyalty and trust and you have to clear it, on the parameters which you don't set for yourself but someone else sets for you. You have to clear on the expectations which is not yours but of someone else, which you have to fulfil.

the thought threw mw back to the era,when i was studying in school and my parents wanted me to fulfill their wish, wishes which i didn't had but of someone else and I am burning the midnight oil to fulfil that. I tend to get trained to apply me strenght to enter those worlds which do not relate with me, that kept me thinking, what is the fun left in a life, where you cannot even live for yourself, forget dreaming.

well coming to the test match of 11 overs, where every over is a year, i always put my best efforts to win the match but for whome, i didn't want to even play this match but then what do you do when you are thrown on the pitch with stadium full of people. I had to take the bt in my hands and wait of the time to put googlly to me. The success ratio of making a century in this game is next to impossible because the one will decide your game is not you, its someone else only.

well, jumping back from the sarcastic mode to a bit emotional note, people say that time is the healer and a killer but the real killer is the surprises you ger from life. You feel that what you do is good which will make the life happy but it do not happen. You try to  built the most beautiful monument of love but still you fail to get that. what i understood is that you have to be superfecial because  no one will like your face after so many years of marriage.

I am sure, any of my friends will agree that, even though they tried to convince, tried to keep everything happy and beautiful, tried or trying to clean the mess of mis understandings but still haven't suceeded in getting the same in a right perspective and i am sure that they will never able to do it because the success criteria is not set by you but by someone else. So the life called "Marriage" is nothing but looking the same life from other's glasses. It can be good and beautiful or ugly and disgusting.

How am I driving?

Its being time that i was thinking of writing some of my recent experiences, but due to hectic schedule couldn't do so. So now, when i am free i thought of recalling the instance in my mind and putting on the paper.

This happened couple of months back when i was coming back from my office. I was about to reach kharghar. I was driving my car and was very much awake. The road was open with moderate traffic. I was driving on a slow pace then suddenly i saw a car over taking me. I didn't bother much, but what next i saw bowled by head.

The time, this car over took me, i could see myself driving that car and the same man was sitting in the rear passenger seat. When the car came in front of me, he looked back to me and smiled, then the car speeded up and disappeared.

Now people might think that i was not in sense or was half sleep. But being witnessed of something unusual, i only know how i could control myself from thinking, who is this person? or why I am always seeing him only?

The questions are too many and there are no answer. I havent met with this person in my life time and suddenly i started to see him. He smiles at me as if he knows me very well. There are no answers to these questions and so i also stopped looking for the answers.

Its all about me !!!! - Concluding Part

Time passed quickly and I was getting prepared to enter the harsh world of corporate jargons. I was nervous from people saying their experiences in interviews. I was good but not the best and I realized that to be best I have to bury all my past and focus on the things which I intend to do or things which I were waiting for me. But this was not so easy. Now writing this post, I can speak hundreds words of “dos” and “don'ts” but that time, it was not so easy to busy everything.

Luck favored me in this and I got my first professional break as an internship, with an US based software company. But it needed a lot of confidence to sit in front of 4 interviewers and answer their question. One girl helped me to ease my pain. It happened before my graduation completed. I was totally distorted with what had happened and lost focus on almost everything. I used to blindly spend time on internet without knowing what to do. I used to spend hours in chat rooms chatting and flirting. My personality changed and I didn't like it.

Then one day while chatting, I met with a girl who was alone in the room. Although there were lot of people interested in talking with her but she was not responding to any of the requests. I found this a little strange as she was in a public room. I gave her a private message, asking if she wants to talk with me. I was least expecting a reply from her, as she was not replying to anyone in the room, but probably that was my luckiest day. She agreed and we moved to a separate room.

Since it was the first day, we did only high level talks. We talked about our profiles. Although, this kind of talk is practically not logical in these mediums, but we had to start somewhere. We almost continued to chat everyday on the time we decided to meet. Anyone who would come early would create a separate room for the other person to join. Sometimes, I used to get confused with the names, she used to use. Then one day, I asked her, her actual name because some where I knew that she was using false names. Till that time, we had become very good friends and probably I was sure that this is the right time to ask her about her name.

She took a day to reply back to me, as it was normal. She might not trust someone whom she has not met nor spoke with, till now and the time spent was not so much to trust someone to give her details. But our relationship was more of trust than anything else and this came automatically in us. We knew that the other person will not misuse the information in any sense. She told her actual name and surprisingly her name was same of the girl in my class.

I told her to use her real name in the chat as I use to do. Without any further delay she changed her login name to her real name. Time passed like this and I started feeling good while speaking with her. Her company would make me forget my pains and live a good life. I felt an attraction, although we did not meet. I started putting her to the place which was vacant from a long time and felt good in thinking that probably god has made her for me.

But how to ask her or propose her? I didn't want to lose the precious friendship which has grown between us in this time. On calendars it was 3 months past. I thought, I have to anyhow tell her what I felt for her. The least can happen was rejection, so I prepared myself mentally and thought that I would propose her tonight. She came in the night the same time and after a little chat. I told her that I want to express my feeling to her. She didn’t thought much and allowed me to speak. I told her that, I feel good when I am talking to her and probably I think I started loving her. She was silent for the entire time and suddenly went out of the room.

I tried to convince her saying that this is something I felt and do not hold any obligation on you. I am good with your friendship and afraid to loose that. She asked me from when I was thinking about this, I told her that its being a month I am getting that feeling inside me. She told me that she will answer my proposal in a day’s time. I thought that’s it !!!! all gone. I couldn't sleep that night thinking on my foolishness, I had least to expect.

Next day she came and told me that she wanted to test my authentication. She told me that you do something, which will define the level of trust and authenticity that I should be able to put in you. She waited as I was thinking, what I can do? Then without any second thought, I gave my personal mails id and password to her. I told her, this is open my personal account and you can see my trust on you. She was surprised seeing this as no one would give their credentials like this.

She opened the account and without reading anything logged out. But some where she was convenienced that I am not the type of other guys who would cheat someone like this. Then the next day she came with her reply. She paused and gave me her acceptance. Heaven broke on my head and I was on cloud 7. I was more than happy hearing this that at least I didn’t got what I expected. She logged out instantly.

Then the chat went into personal mode and we used to discuss everything on this earth. That was the time when she asked for my phone number. I gave her without thinking a lot. I still remember the confusion happened when she called me and my mom received the call. Most of the people confuse between my and my father’s names. Although they are entirely different in writing, but in pronunciation they have a similarity. She also fell into the same problem. She called me and my mother received the call, she asked for me but said my father’s name. My mom thought that the call is for my dad and she told her that her husband is out for some work.

Listening this, she broke into tears and disconnected the call. I came to know later that she was with her friend and she was thinking that I broke her trust. To teach me a lesson, her friend called me again and luckily this time I picked up the phone. She started firing me and I was not even aware of the situation. I told her to cool down and tell me the problem. I was getting a little nervous because I could hear her voice, she was crying continuously. Her friend told me that, I cheated her by saying that I am not married and she just spoke to your wife. I wanted to laugh at it but looking to the seriousness of the situation, I controlled myself.

I asked her, what name did you tell her? She said the name. I said, it is a shame that your friend do not even pronounce my name correctly and expects a proper reply. The name you told just now is of my father’s name and to whom your friend spoke was my mother. I added to the heat by saying that, now my mom is suspicious as to what is happening. The time I stopped this, her friend broke a laugh and she was scolding her from behind. She dropped the receiver by laughing and didn't speak a word.

Then after some time, again I got the call and this time my mom, started asking me about the calls. She was getting suspicious on the calls coming from a girl and that to long distance. Sorry, one thing I didn't tell you guys that, she was not in Mumbai as to she didn't live in Mumbai. The time we met she was in Delhi, studying her masters and computers. So she was calling me from Delhi. So she called me back and I explained her, the confusion just happened. Things were light and she understood the confusion.

Although I would say that was a test of our loyalty and trust in us that our relationship was able to sustain the waves of confusion without even getting a little shake. Even though, we were in a relationship which was the next level of friendship but still we decided to remain as friends. We were comfortable in interacting with ourselves as friends than as a couple. But that doesn't mean, we didn't have romance in our relationship. We enjoyed all colors of this relationship and with each experience; our bonding was more proper, more stable, more flexible and more durable.

Within all these happening, my graduation and NIIT training completed and I got an internship in a software company as a programmer. I never liked programming and kept that as the last sought career position. But my luck started counting the lost from down and I got a job as a programmer. First job in life, first salary everything first, wonderful feeling. Weeks passed like weeks and weeks like years. We used to talk everyday on phone. We wanted to meet and see ourselves. But how??

That was a time when my granny came to Mumbai from Kolkata. I was very close to her. Although she was much stricter than my mom but somewhere she made sense in everything she did. I planned to tell her about this. I was scared because she comes from that ole generation, where love was only after marriage. I told her to send her snap to me. I still remember, she mailed me a marriage photograph which she attended. That is how I saw her for the first time. She was damn beautiful and pretty. She asked for my photo. Well.. I am not into much of clicking photos; I would rather click someone else but not myself.

But luckily there was a party in office and people clicked the party. Fortunately there were couple of snaps, where I was there and that I mailed her those. Well… the point is how to meet? In a good day, when everything was normal, I opened her pic in front of my granny and asked her, how do you find her? This question was very important because my granny loved beauty because she was damn beautiful. At the age pass 70 she used to look at least 20 – 30 years younger, just because she maintained it. Granny loved her, as she was also beautiful.

I made so many plans to go and meet her but then it didn't work because of the work and by that time another big thing happened. Both of our family got the telephone bills and it was around 11000. On checking the bills, her family found a Mumbai number and my family found a Delhi number. Then what…. Questions..Questions…Questions….

I still remember, I was getting ready for office and suddenly my phone rang. It was a STD, I was sure something has happened, as I hadn't expected her call so early. I answered the call and found a male voice. He asked my name and I told him and then he asked whether I knew his girl. I was not pre texted. So I agreed and also told him that we met on chat. By this time, my family knew the entire situation. I told them and also told them that whatever it takes, I will marry her or no one else.

I told my mom to call that number back and tell them the entire story. I was not aware of her situation. When the call was made, she was not in house and the call was answered by her father. I was in office and was praying to god. What I came to know that when my mom called and spoke with her dad, she entered home. Her dad, asked her about me and she was blurred. She denied that, she didn’t know me. I was very furious and I thought of putting a mail on it. But my mom told me to calm down. I was very much angree as to why to put my mom in a fix.

I think also understood, what she did and she told the entire thing to her parents. There was no problem as I also come from a good family. Things sorted out and the same night, her father called on my cell and apologized to me. I told him that if I were in his position then I would have reacted the same way. Then everything sorted out, I used to call her only on Sundays and talk with him and her mom. Her mom used to ask me about the future of this relationship and I was very sure of the future. But by the time this happened, my granny passed away.

I wanted her to stay with me to see all these things, she also spoke with her one day in Hindi. I couldn't believe that. When she got the news, she cried endlessly, she was attracted to her warmth. My granny will be always my favorite. But she wanted to my marriage and so taking her last wishes, my parents agreed to visit.

But how to recognize her? Looking someone in photo and in individual, are both different things. But no one believes that we both were psychologically connected. I could sense the color of her dress, by sitting in Mumbai. So recognizing someone was not a big deal. That was a first time I met her in person, wonderful feeling indeed. Sitting and talking, holding hands..Was simply great. Our marriage was decided the next year in winter. Everything was going as per our expectation.

We invited them to visit Mumbai and to see our place. They agreed and visited us, so that was the final meeting we had in person and then in a year we got married to each other. I always say by this our relationship climbs the next level but still we remain what we were….Good friends. We had a only pact between ourselves that.. Whatever happens our friendship will never break and maintaining this promise..We are completing 10 years of commitment and loyal togetherness.

She had been always besides me in good and bad times and I am grateful to her for that. Today by completing 10 years of marriage I have completed 12 years of professional commitment. She was always a vital support for me to complete these years. I have no regrets in saying, academically and practically, she is much more superior to me, but I love it. Today I have a small world called “Family” where I, my wife and my daughter live.

I feel apart from the position I am working on, it was a dream 12 yrs back, when I was fighting for survival. Today I help people to survive as I did. The journey from a 4 figure salary to 6 figure salary was exciting, lot of lessons learnt and lot of experiences.

Before putting a full stop to my short reflection of my life, I would like to say something to all of you, It is not what you achieve but what matters is how you have achieved. Life tests everyone but it also gives you a solution and love is a part of the solution. Loving someone is not something which should be repented, when you don't get that person. Love does not understand revenges, egos … nothing. For love.. Even Black is beautiful, if you believe it is beautiful.

So people… Love unconditionally and enjoy the colors of life…… thanks. 

Its all about me!!! - Part 1

I was born in a middle class family in Kolkata and soon came to Mumbai, as my family shifted places. I have seen life in Mumbai change in these 3 decades and so the essence of relationships. I saw people adjusting themselves in crunches with a smile on their face.

I feel fortunate of having this experience seen by myself. Although born in a middle class family, we were never in shortage in resources. My father was working in one of the biggest enterprises in oil & gas domain and we had satisfying life. I started my academic journey from Kolkata and completed that in Mumbai. My earliest days of schools were in a strict convent environment, where you get bitten up, if found speaking anything apart from English and then landing to central school, where talking in English was a ceremony.

As a child, I didn’t had so much of fantasies about getting good toys or clothes, which kids of my age has. But, somewhere when I used to see my friends playing with good toys or getting pampered from their parents, I used to get that expectation built inside myself. But the fact or the reality was entirely different, I was not so impressed by me because I was not as good in the studies as my sister was and he used to compare myself with her. But he failed to understand that, as an individual, I had some qualities which she didn’t have.

This made me shrink into a shell and every day I used to spend fearing, if things are neither right nor wrong. There were many times, when I prayed god to take me up as I don’t want to live here. But then, these are something which a kid will do. My credibility in my family was brought to 0 and this pained me a lot. This created an un-reversible rift between me and my father and probably some where it is still there. We stopped talking with each other long back and this grew by the time.

No one ever felt to sort things out or to understand the problem and it never got sorted. Not that I didn’t want, but I didn’t want to start. It had become a clash of egos and there was no going back. It was a time when I started liking a girl from my class. It was too early and I was too young to define that. But she was from a group, surrounding with high class people and I was never fitted into them or would not fit into them.

I was never made interested to look on presentation and neither had I liked. I always felt comfortable in being the way I am in real. I never liked to be faked, this might be the only reason, I was never included in their group. I always felt lonely and had no such friends. I still remember I called everyone in my birthday, I waited for them and then no one came. I bought a birthday card for that girl on her birthday and gave to her. Next day her friends tore the card and returned me back. I was shattered from inside.

I was in a situation that, I never got an emotional support from any one, whom I expected from. But that didn’t spoiled my identity and I thought, what so ever be and what so ever I have to do, One day I will come to a stage where people will know me and they will work with me. Today when I look back and compare with what was and what I am, there is an unbelievable change in my entire life. Today when I visit the same place, I feel that I should meet with them and then probably I can show them, what I have become.

Then came the college days, brightest and most remembered days of everyone’s life. I was never interested in technical and wanted to go to in medical. I was passionate to become doctor and planned to take up subjects like genetics and neuro. I somehow managed to get a seat in a well known government medical college, but I was not allowed to go, just because the time the entire course to complete and the life a doctor has. I never wanted to go for engineering, as I was not so good with maths and physics. I used to hate any subject which needed calculations.

Well, but destiny had something else stored for me. Leaving everything I had to take admission in B.COM, where again I had to see maths but before that the most scary part was how will I do it? I studied science in school and didn’t knew anything about commerce, then how will I be able to cope with it. I read all the school books on commerce before going to college.

College was cool on the first day. Lot of students, big buildings but the same classes. I had early morning classes and for first couple of days, it was a problem in getting up. But by time, It came into the cycle. It was a different environment only. No restrictions on going classes, lot of friends- I was happy.

Our batch was a mix of students coming from non-state board. All good and intelligent. I always prayed to god that, I should not get into any situation, where I cannot answer. But god was always good on me and he made me look like an intelligent student. Exams for the 1^st semester were good and we passed with good percentages.

 By this time, we were famous in the college. I was good in computers and it proved to be a point of attraction. I am talking about 1999, where people were not so much inclined to computers, but it was not that they didn’t knew about it. 2^nd Semester started on a good note, I started enjoying the stardom in the college.

That was a time when, my life changed for the first time. There was a inter college science exhibition, which for the first time, was hosted by our college. So the management wanted some good volunteers for the event. The criteria of selection was very tough, every class / section would recommend max. of 4 volunteers, all the volunteers should have scored above 60% in their 1^st semester. I was a part of the selected group from my class and we were called for a briefing session.

We reached the hall and found that it was already full. There were selected people from all the three streams viz. arts, science and commerce and from numerous sections. I scanned the hall and got couple of vacant seats. We took those seats and sat there. Suddenly my friend started calling me saying a girl is constantly watching me. I gave least interest in his words and was listening to the professor. My friend again called me and I was totally pissed off. I told him firmly, not to disturb me; the girl heard this and stopped looking at me.

But this was not the end of it. That day I reached home an hour late. I entered home and found no one in the house. My mom was out to visit her friends. I freshened up and it was 5 PM (I cannot forget the time). My phone ranged, I picked up the phone and there was a girl talking from the other end. At first she didn’t tell her name and told me that she knows me. I thought, someone from my group was making fun of me, so I didn’t take it as joke. She got angree on me that I am not serious and dropped the phone. I planned to shout on my gang for this.

Next day, I asked every one about the call and surprisingly no one made it. There facial expression even didn’t tell me that they were joking. I was confused because out of my gang, no one knew my phone number. From that day, my phone would ring at exact 5 PM and the same voice came from other side. One day while talking, I told her that if you don’t tell your name, I will stop taking your calls. I was very much serious on this. She knew and agreed to tell her name the next day.

Her call came as usual at 5 PM and it was raining outside. I told her to first tell her name and then we can talk. Then after a brief silence, she told her name. I cannot tell her name here because probably she might also be reading and I don’t want to put her in trouble. I was happy, day by day; I was getting addicted to her. Funniest thing in this was, she can only call me, I cannot (I know there are lot of ways to get the details but still I wanted to keep the trust). Without meeting and just by talking, we were getting close to ourselves and we understood that this is going to some other level than just friendship.

She told me that one day, she will tell me what she feels about me. I urged her to tell me at the same day, but she was reluctant to give me that day. Couple of days passed and I almost forgot this thing. Then the day came, I still it was Friday and I was waiting for her call as usual. She called me and said that she wanted to tell me something. I kept my hand on my heart and asked her to tell, after a brief silence, she told me that she loved me a lot. I couldn’t believe in what I heard, so I told her to repeat and she did. The call ended but my life started.

I told this to my best friend and he showed interested in talking with her. Next day was Saturday and after coming from college, we had a small ceremony in the house and in that my friend also came. My phone didn’t ring on 5 PM and I thought, she might be busy. Then around 7 PM the phone ringed. I was least expecting to be her. I took the phone and found to be her. I asked her what to her so long, so she told me that she was not in house. I told her that my best friend, whom I treat like a brother, wants to talk with her. She was surprised and little nervous but she agreed.

They spoke for around 10 mins and gave the call back to me and we chatted for another 15 mins and ended up the call. Semester exams came and went well. We decided that we will meet once the exams are over. By this time, I somehow took out the information about her that, she studies in the same college but in a science stream, which happens in the evening. She told me that one day, she will himself come to meet me and till then I should not try to find her. For me it was a test of love and trust. After knowing that both of us are in the same college, it was really hard for me not to find her. But this was something I have to rely upon. I couldn’t think of breaking the promise. I knew that, she will meet me the same day of the lat exam. I waited till evening in the agreed place in the college premise, but no one came.

I was upset but rather concerned, if any problem has happened but I was helpless, as I couldn’t reach her. Evening, she called me and told me that because of an emergency, she and her family had to go to her native place. I was upset from inside but I also knew the she will come back. She told me that she will try to call me. She asked y friends number, just in case, she wants to pass a message to me and I am not available.

Time passed like this and my friend used to tell me that she called him. I was surprised that why she is not calling me. But I didn’t make my mind think on that. Then one day my friend told me that, he got a girlfriend. I was happy for him and I told him that we can spend some time together once she comes back.

It was the valentine’s month and we decided that whatever it takes, we will meet. I had saved lot of pocket money, by skipping food. I bought some good flowers for her and went to college. There are many ways to reach our college and I was coming straight to the gate. The college was on the other side of the road and I was waiting to cross. I was very excited to finally meet her and in this excitement, I looked at the college gate and I could see my gang standing there. I scanned the entire area and found someone like my friend. It was hard for me to believe that, why my friend was in my college. So I remembered him saying that he got a girl friend. I didn’t want to disturb him.

She didn’t come and we didn’t meet. Evening she said that she was standing in the same area and she waved to me, but I didn’t see. I blindly trusted her and apologized her. I told her the why don’t you send your picture so that I can track you. She mailed her picture to me and that was the first time, I saw her. She was beautiful, like a fairy. Now I was eager to meet her in person. We decided to give it a try on Friday on the same place.

Friday came really fast and after completing my classes, I headed towards that place. I was excited thinking that she might be waiting for me. I reached there and scanned the area, she was not there. I thought, I might be early and there is some time for her to come. So I came out and started roaming and what I see, bowled me out and broke my entire life.

I saw my best friend, my brother, standing facing a boundary wall. I could see some girl against the wall. But couldn’t recognize her. Then suddenly a call came to her and he took the call. Speaking on phone he went away from that girl and I saw the same girl, whose picture I was sent.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and without a word went from there. I realized that on the Valentine’s Day, also she was there with him. The phone rang and I clearly asked her that did she love my friend. At first she started shouting at me but when I said I saw her, she stopped and it was a silence. I told her, loving someone is not a crime, so she does not have to repent or feel bad of that. She at once started crying and admitted the relationship.

It was not easy for me to do all these, as to what I did, I told her to go to him. She thought I was angree and will hate her for the entire life. But I convenienced her, that, I don’t see any reason, by which I should hate her. She told me that I have a big heart and one day someone will come in my life, who would understand and respect my emotions and by these words, the calls died. My phone never rang at 5 PM.

I cried a lot. I felt broken. I felt that someone has taken my heart out of me. I stopped eating, stopped meeting friends, and stopped everything. I still remember, it was a Sunday afternoon and everybody was relaxing. It was more than 2 weeks past from that day but I couldn’t forget her. I woke up from my bed and went in the balcony. I was having a shaving blade in my hand and suddenly I cut my nerves. Blood started coming out and I was unconscious soon after. I woke up in the hospital bed with my parents standing beside me. I knew I did a big mistake and I will be punished for that.  But surprisingly, they didn’t ask “WHY?” I felt guiltier and told them everything. My mother touched me and said me that did you think of us?

I understood what she meant and apologized her. For net one week, I didn't go to college and showcased the incident as an accident. Then from that time till the end of the course, there was no looking back. I also joined NIIT with my college and both of them ended the same day.

--To be continued

Today I am married to the most wonderful person and having a lovely daughter. I will definitely write, how did I meet my wife and how did we marry in my next post. You might be thinking, why didn't I fight for my love? But I can fight for something which is mine, not for something which doesn't belong to me. I understood love to “Give Away” without “Expecting” anything. If I holded her that time, then it would not be love but dictatorship. Love is like a boomerang, the more you throw away from yourself the more quickly it comes to you again.

Is it logical to make a remake of original masterpiece?

Its the time of remakes and adaptions. I dont understand the concept or the difference between a "remake" and a "adaptation". for me both of them are the same as there are so many references of the original that you feel that you are seeing the same version.

The Lack of creativeness, has triggered this trend of remaking the same successfull formula with a new touch, it is like you are experimenting with a dish, which is cooked so well. I dont understand the intelligence of re making the entire model keeping the backdrop same but putting new faces and voices in the front. They should understand that people have loved them, like they were in the movie and will compare the newer version on the same grounds.

The newer addition in this league is ajay devgn - tamannah starrer HIMMATWALA, which was remaked from 1983 version of the same titled movie. The authenticity was tampered while making the newer version as the audience was left in between, thinking that what to expect and what to see. This would have been a masala movie for those who have not seen the original version of the same movie and found this version to be having all masala. What was expected from the director was a simple essence of the image, which the original movie had and should have woven the story arround the same. There was no need to keep the same 1983 feel because no one can replicate the presentation levels of that period now. The main reason of HIMMATWALA failing in box office was on the mix of plot and the backgrounds, the movie was more of a comedy than a drama and the raised bar of expectation from the new pair with jeetendra-sridevi, which is evidently not possible.

The nesxt flick on the same lines is a remake of a 1981 movie called CASHME BUDDOR. The original version was released and successfull in the boxoffice even though, it lacked a known or famous faces. The main indegrient of its success was the plot and the comedy blended in the story. It kept people glued on their seats and gave huge doses of laughter. Today also, one cannot stop laughing by looking the flim. This classic was remaked and released with the same name this friday i.e. 5th April 2013. although the verdict of the flim is yet to come but director of this movie has clearly said that this is not a remake but an adaption. He pressed on the fact that, although the ground plot was same but the treatment is different . He clarified that, he has taken a normal easy to understand and relate the story to anyone's life without thinking much on it.

I am not against the fact that there is a reaponsibility of everyone of us to bring the classics to the newer generation so that they are aware of them as well but the question is "HOW" The way they are tampering with the original masterpieces, i fear one day there will be nothing which can be called as a classic and we can be proud in showing them.

Why Anti-Corruption now??

India is 64 years and corruption is older than that, after we getting the Independance the only thing which is progressed is Corruption. India was once a most rich country and if we fought to keep it that way then we never wanted to have things like Corruption even flourish in the country.

With the existance of democracy, the meaning of demograpy has gone. The economic status of the country has gone in the hands of people, which they are using in a way conveient to them. poor is become poorer and riches have grown more richer. The whole demography is devided into common and uncommon crowd, thanks to Corruption for doing this.

Why i am saying this? when people are already aware of this, but what i am not getting is, why now? 64 yrs of taking the decision of fighting against corruption is not a small time to spend. People have died , families have devastated becauce of this and no one said a thing for that and now people have agreed to come on streets shouting anti-corruption slogans, top of their voice.

If we were so concerned with this, then why didnt we punish the first person who has asked for a bribe. This whole episode has turned to be a circus, our hard money never comes back to us as a reward and we are told to avoid giving bribes. This is so much ironic in itself, people tell this even knowing that no work can be done with out giving or taking money, thats how things have been working and that is how things will work.

Couurution may be an epidemic but the originators are multiple. Inflation, Parallel Economy, artificial raise in demand, and many more things give rise to corruption. Today India might be leading the global corruption charts but it is those innocent people who face the ugly side of this. Before shouting against corruption, people should think, on the ways to eradicate it . There were many talks or reforms on this, but nothing has been done now and nothing will happen in future.

Where was this Anna Hazare, when our farmers were dying because of not getting proper compensation. People who are responsible of feeding us, are in the most pathetic state in this country. Why he didnt say a word when India started exporting fine quality of sugar and we indians were given inferior quality to consume? Why he didnt went on fast when the inflation went out of control? The list is very long and will take a life time to justify all the angles.

I am not opposing this, but rather making on news, one should really take some ground level action against CORRUPTION..