Fading Patriotism

“Proud to be an Indian!!!’ and “India first..Then me” etc. are only limited on T-shirts, we find on the streets, but the question do we really feel the same? We enjoy the holidays on republic and independence days and stay home feeling patriot.  But we don’t act when we find our flags on the road. We enjoy walking on them, but do not get the urge of picking it up and keeping it somewhere else.

We go to watch movies, but how many of us actually stand up when the national anthem is played? I have personally seen, people are not even bothered to leave their valuable seats for just few seconds and we call us patriot. They why to play and insult our national anthem in places like this?

I have been to Delhi, lot of times and also visited places like Raj Ghaat, India Gate etc. I wanted to see, whether, these places looks the same way as we see in our TV. But it is so painful to see that, these places are not even taken care, they are neglected to the last limit. I couldn’t even compare the same monument in reality and in TV and we say we are patriot.

Today our tricolor is most seen on pour clothes, we see it on sarees, shirts, socks, hats etc. and we say we are patriot. Sorry to say, today patriotism is just hosting the flag, having some sweets, come home and relax. This is patriotism…

India burnt several times because of our external trespassing, but I don’t see anything harm in this when people inside the country are so much patriot. When we have our best of leaders who are promising day in and day out then why to fear, if anyone comes in or not, how does it matter when we are living a good life, who cares about living it honestly, as end of the day it is money which speaks.

People don’t even know what is India? And what is our national anthem, and then also we are patriot. Who says we don’t raise our voice, we have raised our voice against each and every wrong thing happened but still voted for most of our best leaders.

“Aai mere watan ke logon, zaara aankh main bhar lo paani , jo shaheed huie hain unki, tum yaad karo kurbani”, but do we really know who were they, we only know selected high profiled names but forgot those unnamed heroes, who gave their life, their life for us , for our independence. We know who is Mahatma Gandhi and what happened on 2^nd October 1869, but how many of us know, what happened on 23^rd March 1931?, how many people know about Gandhi – Erik Pact ? Because of which we lost 3 youth icons on this day.

There is a dense political game around this day, when we could have saved Bhagat Sing, Rajguru and Sukhdev, then why didn’t they were saved? There are so many of our heroes, who died even though, they could have been saved. But our great leaders thought of their own power and prosperity and let go what was happening.

Today I feel that, we were indeed being tortured by British people but nothing has changed after independence also. At least before independence, we knew who are our enemies and today we don’t know. But the condition is the same. Being having the largest knowledge pool, its being more that 6 decades, we are still a developing country and we are happy about it.

It is really shocking, when I see people don’t even know the national anthem correctly. “Saare jahan se achha Hindustan hamaara, hum bulbulein hain iski yeh gulsitan hamara” Is only a song now because our gulsitan is no more a gulsitan; people have destroyed the serenity of it and still haven’t stopped. Do we call this PATRIOTISM? I am afraid 6 decades before we were under British rule and today under British culture. Then where is that patriotism, people don’t even get up from their sofa when the national anthem is played television, instead of that they change the channel, so that they don’t have to get up.

There are so many things happening around and you feel what can I do? If this feeling would have been there with our heroes then they might not have to give their life like this. But they followed their heart and did what they felt necessary and today everyone has forgot then, their ultimate sacrifices. See the condition of their family here; no one is bothered to visit them.  Why today everyone wants to go abroad for studies, work etc. but no one is interested to join our armed forces? No one wants to be here and serve the nation.

The reason is very simple, these people are the one who are badly treated in India, and their safety is no one’s concern these days. They don’t have proper guns, in sufficient bullets, bad quality safety jackets, in sufficient food on the borders and after death only promises. Why should anyone go into this after knowing the problems.. And then also we say we love our country.

I am not surprised, that our coming generations will find "Patriotism" only in dictionaries.

A Tearful Separation !!

I was watching some reality show on TV yesterday. It was on a marriage. There was a scean where the bride cries hugging her mother and seeing this, everyone present there started crying. After a long time, tears came in my eyes and I wanted to cry. With a heavy heart, I went to the bed room but broke there, my wife who was sleeping there, woke up surprised and consoled me.

Now, when I remember this whole thing, I don’t understand, why I cried? Is this was a reflexive effect seeing them crying or something different. It was a heavy feeing, I have seen many emotional sceans on TV, but haven’t felt like this. I realized the pain of separation between the girl and her parents. The doubt of whether, she would be able to meet them or not, broke me down.

Looking on the broader angle of this, this is very much normal. Every girl has to leave her parent’s house one day and go to her in-laws house. She has to think that house as her own and forget her parent’s house. But WHY???? I am surprised, who made this rule and why?? . They were not humans to make this type of rule. I understand that, these type of rules were made by someone living a male dominated society,  but why didn’t they thought of the after effects of this rule would make? They didn’t thought, that they are acting selfish against one gender and favoring the other one.

Parents give us birth and give us their love and nourish us. They take all the pain and give us all the happiness. They think about their child first and then about themselves after that. If this is applicable to all the children then why girls are deprived of taking care of their parents and boys are not. We say that god created all of us even this world, then Why didn’t he oppose to such Hippocratic rules?

Ancient epics say that “Kanya-daan (giving the girls)” leads to the path of heavens. But how come, this is possible; giving a part of your body is not so easy. How can this act be so great when it shatters so many hearts? How can this act be so great when it is not pleasant? How come gods are happy on this act when the separation if so much tearful.

And after all these things what a girl gets in her hand. She leaves everything behind to build a new world and she gets hatred, ill treatment, physical abusement and finally burnt to death. Out of those 7 commitments which she takes in the marriage, only 1 is fulfilled. That is, “The bride will come to house and only her dead body will leave the house”. 

I always feel, there is no right of any man to even forget what her wife has done for him. He should realize the pain of this separation and no one else can bear this pain. He should owe his life always to his wife, as she will be adding colors to his life. He should realize that, given a chance, he couldn’t do what his better half can do. “Better Half” …people have forgotten the meaning of this. They are so much engrossed with their greed and hunger; they forgot that she is their BETTER half.

Seeing all these, just one thing I want to ask to god, “Why didn’t he oppose this human sin, when he saw the first girl leaving her parents. When he is so much powerful and able, then why didn’t he stopped this tearful separation or he enjoyed it “…

Explaining the UnExplained !!! - Normal / Abnormal / Paranormal

We live in a scientific world, where everything is been justified by a logic and people don’t want to believe on things which has no existence in the books of logic. I strongly don’t believe in these justifications. There are things beyond this materialistic definition of earth, something which can be experienced but cannot be explained.

What we see with our eyes, we believe it to be NORMAL because we can justify it like rising and setting of sun, walking, eating etc. Things which our eyes see but don’t react to any direct logic, actions which can be justified indirectly as a cause of some other action,  but do not fit into any direct or logical explanations, we call them “ABNORMAL” like hallucinations or illusions, self communication etc. and the last part is those things which are away from being NORMAL or ABNORMAL, they happen but cannot be explained, they are real but cannot be justified as real, they are selective, they are things science has not got any definition of their existence, these are called “PARA NORMAL ( beyond normal)”

All of us know that our body is a combination of tangible and intangible ingredients. One can see, touch and even feel the presence of someone physical in a room without even seeing the person; this is something intangible aspect of a body. In our old epics, it is written that our body is a combination of 5 natural elements or it can react or respond to 5 natural elements: Air, Water, Earth, Fire and Sky, but what is missing is the ENERGY. Our body reacts to different source of energy very easily.

When our body has such an affinity to energy then what drives this structure? The answer is the same ENERGY . We use energy to drive our structure, the source of this energy is not only the food we take but also from the outer energies we react to. Our body creates a huge Electro-Magnetic Field (EMF) around itself, which attracts other energies falling in its spectrum and rejects the energies which don’t fall in the spectrum. That we were, we define “ATTRACTION” and “REPULSION”

When we die, our body starts throwing the energy which is present. This happens because; the energy is always transmitted at low temperatures. So when we die or near death, huge chunks of energy is radiated out from our body and we call it as “SOUL”. Then why we see faces of our loved ones? The answer is very question. As I said, energies attract to the similar energy fields, and that is call as friends. The intensity of this attraction differs depending upon the field values of the energy. With more matching parameters, the attraction is very strong. This is when our eyes scans the image of the person and converts it into a digital impression which is stored in our brain. So we always remember the person, even if he is not around.

Now when any one dies, who was very close to our heart, our brain transmits the impression to our eyes and it implants it to the energy. As all of us know that, energy can change any shape, it is our eyes that sees that energy chunk was an impression of our deceased one. There is a very less probability that 2 different people will see the same impression. But to achieve that, then the brains of all the people needs to be synchronized.

Even more than 1 person in a group can experience the same sighting, but they always experience on different levels. One might experience a joyful moment then the other might experience just opposite of that. It’s just the reflection of the mood of that person at that point of time.

Then why paranormal? If everything can be explained...

The reason is, even though we can explain many things logically then also there are several aspects where science is unable to explain. The origin of life is still cannot be explained. I would certainly not say this as paranormal but yes...its UN explained. Humans are the biggest victim of hallucinations and illusions. We tend to believe, what we see, but we forget that it is our brain which is telling our eyes, what to see. So if I have an image in my brain, then I would often see that image wherever I go.

But understanding paranormal activities are not limited to this only, there are no explanations of physical actions caused by other energies and also when scientifically proved that energies decompose in the lower temperatures then how can a SOUL or SPRIT be cold?? Think a little.

I have been doing lots of research in paranormal activities from long time and I try to relate these activities with various scientific logic. Although, I have succeeded to relating some part of it, but I am still struggling on many parts of it. I think, this is why it is called “PARANORMAL” not “NORMAL” or “ABNORMAL”

6th July 2005 - A day we cannot forget !!

I was working late in the office and was concerned of reaching home, as it was pouring outside. But this was the case every day in monsoons. I quickly packed my bag, took my half broken umbrella and left my office. I checked my watch before leaving, it was showing 6:00 PM. There were several news flashes on radio of water logging in various places in Mumbai. But I didn’t care, it has been almost 3 decades for me living in Mumbai and these things were not new for me.

On my way to railway station, I saw drivers pushing their rickshaws. I was working in Juhu and wanted to catch the harbor line local. I was walking fast to reach the station as quickly as possible, because of heavy rains there were not enough rickshaws on the road. After walking for few meters, I saw there was a huge water logging in the other side of the road. I thought, it was obvious because that section of the road was a low lying area. I entered into the water, the water was reaching my hips, I somehow waded the water quickly and reached the other end. Till that time, it was dark and even my umbrella broke due to heavy breeze.

Then suddenly all the street lights were gone and there was dense darkness on the street. There were lots of people on the road who wanted to reach the station. Sun was setting and there was little bit of light, through which the road could be judged. I was able to reach the other side quite quickly as thought, I am certainly not a swimmer, but from my childhood days, I had affection towards water. But I was shocked seeing a big crowd in the side. Out of curious, I went to the crowd to see what the matter was. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The main road connecting that road was totally filled with water.

The whole scean was very terrifying and I realized what was happening or what has happened. I stared to walking towards the nearest railway station but soon I realized that I was moving to the same location from where I started, judging the directions in the dark was very hard and I had to again go back. I could see cars floating in the water and busses were half filled with water. People were panicking on the nature’s surprise.

Walking in the flowing water was not easy, my jeans were totally wet and the weight of the jeans ached my legs, at some point standing was just unbearable. But I was not having any other option but to keep walking. The potholes were opened at different sections of the road, but to judge potholes or even the divider was a problem was water was flowing over them. I took the option of following the crowd and reached to the nearest safe point. I checked my watch, it was showing 9:00 PM, I lost 4 hrs in this effort.

Trains were stopped because of the water logging in the stations and there was no indication of when they would resume. I reached the station and saw people were sitting on the bench and even on the foot over bridge. I somehow managed to make my way through them and landed to the other side. Rains stopped for some time and fortunately there were ample lights to see. I waited there for some time for any means I could get to reach home and soon I saw a bus coming. There was no one in the bus, I tried to run to stop the bus but because of my jeans, I couldn’t do. I asked couple of taxi drivers to take me home and I could give them whatever money they want, but all of them refused. I realized that the same thing happened here also.

I realized to start walking in the same way, but this time because of the exertion I was feeling hungry. I thought of having something and then start walking but there was not a single shop open. It was just 9:30 PM and everything was closed. I had no option but to start walking. Fortunately, I could see the road because the street lights were working.  I thought of going to the highway and was confident that I will get some sort of commutation to home. There were some places where water had logged till the hip and even higher than hip level.

I reached the highway faster than previous effort but there was the same problem. I could see only people walking, nothing apart from that was there on the road. I met with one guy and he told me that he was walking all the way from CST station. I sat in a place and calculated the distance, it was around 25 – 30 Kms more to reach home and there was nothing to take me there. I have to walk to my home, but how?? I was thirsty; I was hungry and dead tired. Somewhere in my mind said that I might not reach home tonight and more over my mobile was also dead.

I followed the crowd and could see there were many volunteers distributing water bottles and biscuit packets to people. I felt relieved; I at once grabbed some biscuit packets and a bottle of water. All though we always recommend, not to borrow anything from strangers but that time, it was a fight for survival. I checked my watched, It was showing 12:00 AM and that was the last place I could see the light. I also saw the same bus which I left in the station standing there filled with people. I think, they found that to be the most secure option rather than risking their own life. But I thought of trying.

I entered in the water again, this time water was very much cold and reached till my chest. There was a high tide and water was expected to rise more. People were walking in it making a human chain. The situation looked scary as all the vehicles were parked on the bridge. I still remember it was a full moon night and rain had stopped for some time. People were guiding others while walking through water.

I appreciated this Mumbai feeling and felt proud of being a mumbaikar. I covered good amount of distance but was not feeling to even stand. I thought of sitting in a place for sometime before starting again. Determination and courage overcome my sleep. I made a plan to reach home, I thought, somehow I have to reserve my energy till the end of this ordeal and for that I should get equal portions of rest. I never saw my watch after that. I started walking and eventually taking rest in between.

Many of you guys might know that Mumbai and New Mumbai is divided by a creek and there is no other way to reach new Mumbai without crossing the bridge. Because of heavy rains the water roused to the height of the bridge and there was no light on the bridge. As a result crossing that was a direct threat to the life. I could see the violent sound of water flowing under the bridge. Police blocked the whole bridge giving a HIGH DENGER alert.

But people were impatient and wanted to reach home, when it was just a bridge distance. On high demand, police allowed us to cross the bridge but at our own risk. I thought, if now I move back then my whole effort will be wasted. I took god’s name and started to cross the bridge. The bridge was old and was cracked from many places. I can also see the water hitting the edges of the bridge but I cannot stop now. I ran to the other end of the bridge.

New Mumbai is a high level area and there is no water logging, there were also enough lights on the streets, so there was not a problem. I got a lift from a biker to some distance near to my place. But situation there was much worse than Mumbai.

Due to heavy rains, water crossed the danger marks in all the dams near my place and to save the dams from the increasing water pressure they had to open the doors. The water coming from there washed all the villages which came in its way. Huge number of deaths recorded in those areas and all of them were in sleep. Dead bodies came floating in the water. I could see several people floating in water….dead.

My building is a 3 floor building and I saw my car floating in the water. Water reached above the first floor and it was fortunate that we have a parking in the first floor. I lived in the 2^nd floor of the same building. I reached home and my mother started crying after seeing me safe and sound. She has having negative thoughts of my survival seeing the dead bodies floating on the water. I checked the watch and it showed 4:00 AM.

I was living in Panvel and was working in Juhu on a project. The distance between both the places is very much to travel as a direct train taken almost 1 hr 30 mins to reach one direction.

Today also when I remember the whole episode, I get goose bumps. But this has increased my passion and love for Mumbai. The spirit of helping others is what impressed me. In the time, when people were thinking of saving their own lives, there were few people helping to save others life. People they have never met neither will be meeting again, but that was the time, we all came together to help and give comfort to others in the time of crises. Mumbai came together not to save a particular cast or creed but to save a universal emotion called “Brotherhood” and “Humanity”. Not a single government official’s neither a politician showed their face that day. They were sleeping on their cozy beds when entire Mumbai was on the streets.

Marriages are made in heaven, but destroyed on earth !!!

If marriages are made in heaven then why people who are getting married do not get the chance of choosing their own partner? If god in so perfect in making the couples then why does most of the marriages fail because of mis-match?

This thought usually came in my mind, whenever I used to see, the increase in the marriages failing these days. I can’t stop thinking that, what could be the reason of people getting married and then parting their ways from each other? I would certain blame society for this, rules made by society often reflects in the way, how partners are selected? This may not the so bad everytime, but most of the mis-matches happen because we dont get whome we are supposed to get and we cannot accept what we get? I think this is the reason, " Adjustment" is more associated to a marriage these days than "Love and Commitment". Human psychology reveals that an average mind always tries to weigh his earnings against what he should get? This might sound a bit hysterical,  but its true.

We always feel that we should get the best of everything and when this doesnt happen then the problem starts. We live in an illusion of being the best and always think, "I am born to get the best". This is everyone's thought, if everything is good then what is bad? The defination of "BAD" is very subjective in nature, It changes from context to context. Couple blame their parents "BAD" for not giving them what they wanted. Parents blame to the customs for being helpless in not giving their children, what they wanted.

Yesterday I was watching some scenes of a daily soap and was surprised to see that, when India is approaching to the most advance and openness of its ideas. The strains of those rotten customs are still borne by us and we are happily taking it as a quality to make ourselves called “civilized”. How much helpless a family can make its girls to choose their life partners, and why we cannot give this privilege to those people who are getting married. Why always family has to impose their ideas crushing the wishes of their children, ruining their life and happily saying, “My children are well civilized, that they will never oppose our decision”

But I still feel, this is not the fault of the parents to think like this. When there are so many references of failing relationships in the world, giving a committed relationship to their children, is what every parent will look forward. But for this, is it necessary always to go against the children and pressurize them to take their decision in choosing their partners.

Surveys say, the chances of breakups in these types of relationships are very high because there is always a feeling of hatred and revolution which burns the whole relationship. One should understand, in an attempt to make the lives of our children happy, we are making the actual happiness of them, as they will never forgive you for this. After this, you might sleep in the night thinking, you have done the best of things for your child, but actually when it comes to reality, you find that you have made your children your own enemies.

How hard is to understand the feelings of your children, when it comes in taking such a vital decisions? Please come out from the parental cast and try to be a friend to your child and then see how much close you can go to your child.

Life without her, is meaningless

I was trying to come out from my first breakup, stable but still shattered from inside. I started thinking, what mistake I made that, it happened to me. I started to generalized things and created a hatred for females. My friends used to tell me that, these girls don’t have heart and relationships for them, to trap someone and then throw after having fun. I used to think, these things, I heard for boys from girls, but here things are very opposite.

I recently had internet installed in my house. The excitement behind having internet was new to me. I never went to any cyber café before that, because I didn’t knew what to do in internet. Now when it was there in my house, it was a open ground for me to experiment and the first thing I took up for experiment is the chat rooms. I had heard a lot from my friends about these chat rooms and how easy was to flirt with girls there.

I started visiting chat rooms gradually and became somewhat addicted to it. Whenever I was free, I used to visit them and start chatting with other people. For me “Other People” were mostly girls, I suppose that is most obvious thing, a guy would do in internet. I was able to make many friends who were girls and I was happy of this achievement.

But somewhere, I was not able to forgive that girl for what she did with me or I didn’t want to make the feeling die inside me. I found myself changing little bit but in big way, I was treating this as an insult and someone inside me was not allowing me to forget so easily. The days past by like this, flirting and chatting.

Then one day I met with a girl in one of the chat room. I thought of approaching her and chat with her. In spite of sending a lot of welcome message, she didn’t respond. I thought trying here is not going to help me and I thought of changing the room. But I realized in the coming days that she used to be present in the same room with different names. I know you all might be thinking, if I didn’t knew her then how come I know that she is the same person. The answer to this question is the way she used to chat. She had a very different way of chatting.

After seeing that she was idle for a long time, I thought of taking the opportunity to go and talk to her. Fortunately this time, she replied to my greeting messages and we started chatting with each other. Time flew and days became months and I became addicted to her. By going time, we started to know each other nicely. We fixed a time in the night, when we used to login and then we used to go to a private room to chat.

I start feeling the same feelings coming inside me and I wanted to meet this person. But the problem was that, she was living in Delhi. But I wanted to be more expressive this time. I realized that she was shy in expressing feelings and also feared in accepting the feelings because she was aware of the growing number of internet frauds in the country and moreover it was right also. How can you trust someone, whom you cannot see or meet? I appreciated that. We soon became good friends and I used to share every bit of information with her. I felt safe, secure and satisfied after talking with her.

I decided to tell her my feelings and was also afraid that, history should not repeat this time. But I was also scared thinking, how she will think of me and she will not talk with me anymore and I will lose a nice friend also. I didn’t sleep that night thinking all these, one part of myself wanted me to express my feelings to her and the other side was resisting me from doing that, the whole night passed like this, anyways I was not sleeping from that day be didn’t felt so much pushing happening inside me.

At last I came to a conclusion to take this smoothly without making so much hurry. I then started telling my feelings indirectly through chat to her. It was not a easy part for her also, to understand and accept every bit of it, but I was prepared for this. But nothing like this happened, as days went, she started understanding my feelings and also shared hers. For me things were like a dream.

Then one fine day, I told her that I loved her, she didn’t reply to that and logged off. I thought, I made the biggest mistake of my life. Now I have to pay the price of it by losing her. This was the first time; I wanted to cry out loud. I didn’t got this feeling even after my heart was broken for the first time, but surprisingly this time I wanted to cry out loud. I spent the whole night crying. I was feeling very much deserted and thought of ending my life came inside me. I scratched my hands with blade and I was feeling happy to see the blood coming out from them.

The next day, I didn’t want to go to any chat room. But I somehow went there, I thought of neglecting her, even if we met. But suddenly, she gave me a message and told me to follow her to a private room. Words like “NO” were coming in my mind, but I couldn’t resist her invitation. I followed her and we went to a private chat room. She suddenly asked me, “Did you mean, what you said to me yesterday?” I said “Very much…” Then again there was big silence, she was there but was not talking. I thought of leaving the room before she types her message.

Then suddenly her message came saying, “I also mean what I will be saying now?” I felt my heart stopped or skipped a beat. But I still waited for her message. Then suddenly her message saying, “I LOVE YOU!!” came in front of me and I was elated to the height of the stars. He told this and at once left the room. I kept looking on the monitor from a long time. My mother was standing behind calling me for dinner and I was not replying to her, I was just looking on the screen.

The next few weeks went to prove my authenticity. I gave her my mail ids and account password, so that she can check my authenticity. Even though, I had many mails from many other girls, for her it didn’t matter. She was impressed with my sincerity of giving the password and understood my feelings for her were genuine. We came close to a lot in 3 yrs from the day we first met.

It’s being 6 yrs we got married and living happily. We had only 2 meetings with our families, one we went there and second was they came to Mumbai. I am still surprised, when people say, “Love marriages don’t work?” It’s the love In the relationship which make it work. I cannot live without her today because I feel; I am alive because of her. She brought me out from the state when I could have done anything. Now since she is my wife, but still we are best friends first then a couple. I can understand what he has to say and she understands what i want to say? It’s not that we don’t have fight, but each fight between us makes our love deeper and deeper.

The logic is very easy, you cannot understand the meaning of life till you don’t have love and when you have love then you don’t expect anything from life. The meaning of love starts and ends with the existence of a female in one’s life. They complete your life and take your life to a much higher level. They leave everything for you to just fill colors to your life and against that, whatever you do to make her happy are always less. I don’t miss a single day or time to say the same thing to my wife, which marked the beginning of our relationship, “I LOVE YOU” and you also don’t miss this opportunity to tell this to your loved ones.

Today we have a very beautiful life and expect that we would have a baby girl in near future. Today we both keep fast for each other till rest of our live, it’s important for me because, I don’t want to leave her for a single generation :)

Who lit the candle?

My father recently retired after completing his tenure in ONGC. In his tenure, we used to live in ONGC colony in Panvel (Navi Mumbai). I did my schooling and graduation staying in that colony itself.

Before coming to the incident, let me tell everyone, the layout of the colony. The whole colony was constructed on a grave yard and was divided into different blocks. The blocks started from A to D and the allocation was given, depending upon the sceanirioty of a person. In these blocks, the occupancy was never 100% and there would be some buildings which were never occupied.

We lived in block B and there were few buildings which were left unoccupied. This incident happened in one of such buildings. There was a building which was near a park. That building was once occupied with couple of families in it. In the same building there was a bachealor, who was living in the ground floor flat. Within couple of months after he occupied the flat, he killed himself by hanging from a fan. Nobody knew the reason of his action. According to his close colleagues, he was living best times of his life. He was indeed getting married and eventually got promoted to a senior engineer. His family back home was also good, never had any financial problems and in fact his parents were supposed to come here to live with him. Then, if everything was so perfect and there were no problems, then why this guy killed himself?

After couple of weeks from is death, people started moving out from that building and soon that building was abundant. The question arises is, whether his is a fallout of his death or this was a reason of his death? People started complaining about some weird thing happening in the building like sound of the footsteps in the building corridor, sound of door opening and closing in the same flat. People living in the same building, could also see a candle was lighted every night.

Now the question arises, who can light a candle when the flat was locked from inside and even outside? This whole story fascinated me to go there and check it out. People never took that lane in the late evenings and night. The park opposite to that building also turned up into an eerie place, as no one was ready to go there to maintain the park.

Well, it was diwali night and I had convinced couple of my friends to go there and check that out. We got this advantage that, since it was a festival, all focus will be on completing the nitty gritty of it and entertaining the guests, my parents will never have a time to check where I am going. I told my parents that I was going with my friends to burn crackers and left the house. If I am correctly recollecting the time it was past 10 PM.

While going to that place, I was making sure that no one catches me going that place. So I was taking many precautions and was pacing up to see the truth of the story. Once I reached there, I was shocked and surprised to see that the place didn’t seem to be a part of the same colony. The whole atmosphere was very different and more over there was no light there also. Some light was indeed coming from couple of buildings nearby but there were limited street lights.

We walked to the park, to see the flat. The flat looked like; no one has ever opened this apartment from ages. Each and everything which could be seen from outside, was covered with multiple layers of dust, totally bad in shape. We were standing opposite to that flat, hoping to see something exciting. Actually we went there to see the ghost, as we all heard that the building is possessed by a ghost.

We stood there for almost half an hour, but nothing weird happened. I thought all the stories about this place are just rumors and has no connection with the real thing. We could feel, the air around us was getting colder and colder by every minute. We thought of returning back, and then suddenly one of my friends stopped there shocked, he was still looking at the same flat. I looked behind to call him, and then suddenly my eyes went to the balcony of that flat. From the window glasses, we could see, some light inside. We went near the window to check whether the light was from inside or it was some kind of reflection from other buildings.

When we started going near, we could feel the discomfort. We stood near to the balcony, we found that the light was coming from inside the flat and that to some sort of candle light. We could justify the finding because the light was low and was not stable. We ran inside the same building to check if there was some new occupant, but we found that the flat was sealed from outside and the balcony was also locked from inside.

We understood, what was happening? And ran from the site.

More than 20 yrs has happened after this incident and today also when I meet with my friends, the only question we cannot answer that “Who lit the candle?” when the flat was sealed and locked.

My College Days (Last Part): My first heart break!!

I was elected as a Treasure in the Economic Council in my college. I was responsible in managing funds for our college festivals. Big responsibility for me, but I was comfortable in that. This was the period when people started knowing me and my gang nicely, some of them appreciated and some envied on our friendship, but there were huge interest in joining our group.

I still remember, we are selected to volunteer the project exhibition. This was started as an initiative to make students aware about creating best projects. We had taken out some best and well appreciated project files and kept them in an exhibition. We had a planning session, before starting of the exhibition and that happened, which should not have happened.

Ramesh and I were sitting on the same desk and my entire group had occupied desks around my desk. The whole class was packed with students from different streams, different classes and different groups. I could see the same group; I met the first day in the college. I was not at all concerned with other groups, as I was there for a purpose. I was paying attention to the professor, who was explaining the next few days plan for the exhibition.

Suddenly, Ramesh started to poke me, at first I neglected it, but when it continued, I asked him, why are you doing this?” He pointed to one girl, sitting diagonally opposite of my desk and was peeping at me every now and then. I caught that girl looking at me and gave her a smile. But as I smiled to her, she started looking to some other girl. It was a sort of adventure.

The day ended and we all left for home. It was around 6 pm and I was doing some college works, then suddenly, my phone rang. I picked up the phone and said “HELLO”, surprisingly there was no answer from the other end. Again I said “Hello...Who’s there?” there was no answer. I disconnected the call and kept the receiver down. Suddenly the phone rang again, and I ran to pick that up, it was the same thing happening again. I was angry now and I shouted on the phone and was about to disconnect, then suddenly a voice came from the other end.

I realized that, it was a girl’s voice and was the same girl, who called me earlier. I shouted on her and made her realized that I don’t like this type of stuffs. She apologized to me and said that she was not doing intentionally, as she was not having courage to start a conversation. I felt the genuity in what she was telling me and forgive her. From that day, she used to call me every day at the same time. I was also sort of addicted to talk with her. The day when her call didn’t come to me, was the worst for me. I would realize the inclination towards her.

I often asked her, “From where did you get my number?” and every time she used to change the topic. The only thing she used to tell me that, “I wanted your number, so I got it “, actually, she was able to get more information about me, beyond my imagination and I was impressed by that. The suddenly one day, in between our conversation, she told me something, which gripped me with anxiety. She said” I want to tell you my feeling s for you?” ohhh….this was the first time for me, when a girl said something like this to me.

Well, I was never shy and composed by nature, when meeting with girls, but not even blunt in going directly to any and every one to meet. I never approached anyone in the first impression. I was in great dilemma, as to how to react on this.

It’s not that, I was not interested in knowing, what she felt for me but in the same time, I was scared that what if she said anything, which I couldn’t take. With great courage, I told her that I would be glad to hear her thoughts. She smartly said,” I get impatient, wait till tomorrow. You will get to know!!!” That was not acceptable to me. This was the first time when I didn’t want to cut the call. But there was no option given to me.

My wait till the next day was hectic. I was always thinking, what she would say to me. I didn’t call anyone from my home and was waiting for her call, then suddenly the phone rang, and my heart skipped a beat. I picked up the call and said “Hello”. My heart was racing at that time; I reminded her of the last day’s conversation and told her to break the suspense. She said “I LOVE YOU!!!” and I laughed like a mad man. She was surprised and little angree on me; at least she didn’t expect me to react this way.

She at once dropped the call before I could explain and I was feeling little bit guilty of what I have done. I thought, because of my foolishness I lost her before she could know what I felt for her. I sat in the near chair, lost. I was confident, that she will never call me again. I might have insulted her or her feelings. But then again the phone rang, but I was least expecting her call, but she was there and without going for much greetings, she fired a question to me. I was not surprised at the question but was expecting.

She at once asked, “Do you love me?” I was puzzled, what to answer. Although there were some feeling for her, but whether I should tag it as LOVE, but there was no chance of going back and analyze my feelings for her. Without a second do, I said “I LOVE YOU too”, she paused for a while and then laughed. But I was surprised that, what she found in me against so many good looking guys in the college. She said, “There is something in you, which made me to think like this.” I knew some of my x-factors.

Till today, I think the relationship we had; we never met with each other only chatted over phone. I knew, no one will understand the situation, as it is. But I don’t want to think about the authenticity of this relationship. I somehow managed to convince her to meet me and fortunately Valentine’s Day was coming. We made a good plan for that day, but it was not my day. I was little late for the meeting and when I came to the college running, I saw that she was having a company of a guy. What I was seeing, it was not that they were friends, but it was something different only.

My heart broke so badly that I threw the flowers on the road, in front of her and walked. I didn’t look back, but I knew she was looking at me. For me, what I saw was enough for me to understand the current and future of this relation. From that day, I stopped talking to her over phone.

My College days (Part 2): Friendship finds you, wherever you are!!!

Days passed by and we again became good friends. The question I asked him was still unanswered. But I did not insist him to answer. We used to hangout daily after classes or even between classes. He often looked at me with questions in his mind and I could read that. By each passing day in the college, my world was getting bigger and bigger with people coming in it. I was happy in what I was getting and couldn’t expect anything more.

I did find the there were few more people from my school, who joined the same college. I was surprised that how come I have not noticed them, all these time? But “whatever happens, happens for good!!” I realized that they looked at me in a different way in school. As I was an average student in school, I was often differentiated and isolated. I was habituated of that, but the same people now were friendly or trying to be friendly with me. I knew, it was very hard for them even to break the shell which they had put for me. But this is not school, this is the actual life … the college.

I used to have classes mostly morning and would wind up by afternoon. We used to have fixed seats in all the lecture classes and all professors knew about us. Well, that was in kind of good and bad. We were not allowed to bunk classes because of the gaining popularity in the college. Ramesh found these things a bit strange, as he was coming from a well conserved family. He was always afraid that if his parents knew that he is hanging out in college, then they would stop him coming here.

He used to remain subdued and nervous and would look twice before taking a decision. I tried to make him understand the difference between school and college. I told him to be open and interactive as much as possible here, so that people will appreciate his presence. But in the back of my mind, I knew that, it will take time for him to adapt this new life style.

I was living my life like a king. I enrolled for a computer course, parallel to my college. I was able to convince my group to go for the course. The center was in walking distance from our college and I enjoyed shuttling between both the places. Although, coming in IT was never in my wish list, but I was there and I was enjoying every bit of it.

College gave me those friends, whom I never thought of becoming friends. One important lesson, I learnt from here is, “Friendship finds you, wherever you are!!!”

My College Days (Part 1): Reached College!!!

I completed my school and was excited to go to the college. Luckily, I got an admission to one of the reputed colleges of New Bombay. I somehow got fascinated with college, right from my school days. I used to love movies which had scenes of college and used to dream of going there. So finally, the lucky day came and I was about to start a new page of my life.

I was finally coming out, from the closed corridors of a school to an open world of college. Little bit of nervousness and fear of getting ragged on the first day. Although, ragging was banned in most of the colleges, but what is banned, is done the most. People enjoy in breaking rules and showing others how much courage they had. I reached the college gate, it was huge structure made of iron but beautiful from outside, and from there I can see a massive building in between a lawn of green grass. The building was painted in white color and was standing with pride under morning light. There were small buildings standing equi-distant from each other, which I came to know as different administrative sections of the college.

I somehow managed to enter the college campus. It was a very huge campus. I thought and laughed at myself thinking of my school playground. I was puzzled and started thinking that, in such a big building where would I find my class. Then something I saw, which reduced my tension; there were other students who were facing the same problem in find their respective classes. I was relaxed, that I was not the only confused here.

They were roaming in the college in groups, which has equal number of girls. They were laughing while checking the notice boards and seeing this, I somehow felt a little left out, as I was alone there. I thought, how will I spend 3 yrs of graduation, with no one to hang out? Flashes of school days came in my mind and I started missing my friends, and what??? I saw someone, who looked familiar to me; I didn’t want to react before confirming that he is the same guy whom I knew. He was standing alone, and reading something on the far left notice board. The college corridor was very big and there were different classes lined up.  I started to walk towards him quickly, hoping to catch him before he leaves from there.

I thought, the guy I knew, had a charming physique, but the person who is standing in front of me, is looking tired and wearied out. I stood for a while in front of the dark green notice board just looking at him. I thought that, he only has the same face but the body is different or is I am getting hallucinations? I waited for the guy to turn; I wanted him to recognize me rather I recognizing him. While I was standing next to him, I looked at my watch. Classes would start in a minute or two; I got convinced that, it is just because of my loneliness, I am getting those impressions. I was about to turn back, then suddenly heard my name “Mainak….Mainak…Is that you?”.

I turned back excited and saw the same guy calling me. I thought, he might have seen me standing next to him from a long time. He also must be thinking the same way I was. I didn’t complain him for his so called “negligence”, which kept me standing for almost half an hour. But now, things are different, I got someone to talk and roam with. Without showing much excitement, I started walking towards him. The only question I could ask him at that point of time is “Ramesh..Hey!! Is that you??” He was surprised that,  I still remembered him, he came up with a sweet smile. The same smile, on which most of the school girls used to go crazy. He replied excited, “Where have you been man?” We started talking of our school days and of course school girls. Gathering some courage, I asked him” you don’t look the same person, I knew in school…What happened to you?” Hearing this, I could see, his face turning pale.

Next episode coming soon….